Flawed. & (still) worthy.
Hello and welcome back today I'm diving headfirst into a topic that is very near and dear to my heart, and a very personal struggle of mine. When I decided to start blogging again I had the realization that if I'm going to engage readers I must be transparent. Perfectionism is what I would call a blessing and a curse. But if you look up the definition of it this is what comes up:
Perfectionism, in psychology, is a personality trait characterized by a person's striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. It is best conceptualized as a multidimensional characteristic, as psychologists agree that there are many positive and negative aspects.
I am writing this post as a text-book perfectionist. I have been there I have felt myself be paralyzed with the fear of failure. I've cried many tears over trivial matters because they didn't turn out the way i wanted or they were not "perfect". So I'm writing this post in hopes to help people like me. I have not overcome my battle with perfectionism I've struggled with it my whole life ,but i am accepting it and trying to let it go.
"There is a difference between striving for excellence and demanding perfection."
This is so true. A key concept to wrap your head around as a perfectionist is:
Perfection is impossible.
The longer you keep chasing perfection the unhappier you will become. The trap we get lost in is reaching a goal will satisfy us. The truth is for us, no goal we reach will ever be good enough, or "perfect" enough. So we end up chasing our tails around in circles leading to depression, procrastination, and unhappiness. If you think I'm kidding just look up "perfectionism" you will se everything I just told you and more. But this doesn't have to be the way you live your life.
The way I've began to cope is by realizing:
your best is your best.
your worth is not a performance in anything.
we all have bad days. that's ok. as long as you get up and try again tomorrow.
These are all hard pills to swallow if you "demand perfection" so the next time the weight of perfectionism is threatening to push you over the edge remember: Do your best, this doesn't define you, its ok to fail because you can try again tomorrow. And give yourself grace because you are amazing even if you don't believe it.
"cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" -peter 5:7